I've been feeling really tired all day today.  I was going to take care of the dishes, but I've just been watching TV instead.  I did find some books for one of my papers/presentations though, so that's good.  I'll pick them up at the library tomorrow.  It's been snowing all week, though there hasn't been much accumulation.  I don't have to work the rest of the week, which is good, because the house needs to be cleaned, there are 3 papers and 1 presentation to work on, and I need to start planning our drive next week.  We're going to Massachusetts to spend Thanksgiving with Jason's family.  I'm looking forward to it, but it's going to take a lot of planning.  I have a 20 minute presentation to do the Monday after and I've only gotten as far as picking a topic.  I'm looking at Su Friedrich, who is an experimental film maker whose films have a lesbian/feminist bent to them.  My other presentation will be on the early history of the Art Institute of Chicago.  I also have 2 papers due the Thursday after Thanksgiving.  One is on Safavid and Mughal architecture, and for the other one I need to come up with my own theory of modern and postmodern architecture.  So overwhelming.  I wish Thanksgiving was actually a time off for me, but students don't really get any time off.  And on top of that, all four animals will be coming with, which is going to be crazy.  3 travel kennels, one dog blanket, two full size cages, bags of food, hay, bedding, and treats, as well as Harlock's prescriptions.  I'm a little worried, I don't know if they'll even fit in the car, and I'm not sure how Mortie's going to do.  He's a bit wild.  But, one thing that has amused me for the last couple of days is the fact that Mortimer is half pink.  Seriously.  Hot pink.  I gave him a pink mineral treat yesterday and he took it into his castle, where he chewed it up.  He's a messy eater though, so when he laid on top of it, it turned his underside, which is usually white, pink.  He actually looks cute.  I think I'll give him a green one at Christmas so he can be a festive little man haha. 

I finished one more presentation yesterday, which means there are only two more to go.  This weekend I'm going to be researching for three papers.  I also want to try to clean a little, and possibly bring up the Christmas stuff.  I know it's early, but this is really the only time to do it where I can actually enjoy it.  I'd also like to do a little more Christmas shopping if at all possible.  The earlier I start, the more likely we are to be able to afford it.  I'm also thinking about Christmas cards.  I think we might go with the photo cards from Target, if I can get Jason to cooperate.  I really don't like those very much, I prefer ones that I can actually write to people on, since Christmas is the only time of year I get the opportunity to communicate with some members of my family, like my great aunts.  But, once again, no time and no money, since regular cards are more than the picture ones.  I know it's almost over, but it's so frustrating to not have any time.  I love Christmas, especially the lead up to it, but right now we're just trying to hang on until next month.  

I gave the graduation announcement project over to my dad, which is a relief.  The whole situation is strange, with Megan and I both graduating on the same weekend.  But, since I have no plans to attend my graduation, and since the graduation is actually the weekend before finals start, the date on the announcements is pretty useless.  As far as I'm concerned, the time to celebrate is when I hand in my last paper the week after that.  Or after I sell my books, I haven't decided which haha.  It's just kind of abstract, which is the way I like it.  Graduations are so boring and pointless, especially when you haven't even finished with your classes.

I've been thinking a lot about life after graduation, and trying to make some plans.  I don't plan on finding a job, unless for some reason things with the economy start to affect Jason's job.  I'm planning on just continuing to babysit.  We both think this works better, since Jason's job is so not flexible, he never has time to do things like run errands, or even eat lunch most of the time.  So it's easier if I'm around to take care of everything.  The slightly disappointing part is that we've decided that, instead of trying for a baby in December, which was the plan, we're going to wait until late-spring/early summer.  It's just the more responsible route, we have a lot to take care of.  We need to get used to paying for my health insurance, and we need to sort out our finances.  I'm planning on using my graduation money to knock out most of our debt, but we also need a savings, since life is so unstable for everyone right now.  We had one, but several things, including but not limited to- Jason's trip to Austin and maintaining his car's health- whisked away the savings pretty quickly.  I also want to completely re-organize the house- it was pretty good, but now that we have twice the space and I haven't had time to adjust things, it's getting a little crazy.  We also want to save for a new computer and do a little work on the house.  And once the little one is on the way, we'll have to have the guest room re-plastered in order to paint it the colors I have already picked out haha.  I also want to start working out again, the last month or so I just haven't had the time, and I'd like to be as healthy as possible.  Which means the insane coffee/Excedrin/Benedryl system I'm currently surviving off of will have to go haha.  We know we shouldn't rush into things, even though I'd really like to rush into things haha.  Honestly, it's a bit of a relief, it was starting to feel like everything was on this really short time line, and now it's more relaxed.  More than anything, I can't wait to start living again, being able to read for pleasure, do crafts  (and maybe get to the huge pile of mending Jason has been waiting on for a couple of years now haha), spend time with the animals, and, most importantly, spend hours playing video games that have no end, like Animal Crossing haha.  I'm not sure Jason's going to like that part, especially if I get Lego Batman for the PS3, that would be my first PS3 game, so he'll finally have some competition haha.

Lately I have fallen into the pattern of completely sucking at life that I tend toward when I get really stressed out.  For some reason when I need to be productive the most I get overcome with anxiety and end up completely losing steam.  I'm just worried that something will happen that will prevent me from graduating.  That might be because the school contacted me to tell me that I was one requirement short.  It turned out to be an error on my transcript, so hopefully it's fixed, but it just reinforces the fact that there's so many things that can go wrong.  I'm taking two seminar classes, which are very nerve wracking, because you're just supposed to sit around and talk about the readings.  I find it completely impossible to volunteer myself for that kind of interaction.  I hate speaking, and am just crossing my fingers that it won't affect my grades.  I also have two big research papers to do for those classes, and 20 minute presentations to do on each.  I'm way behind where I want to be on the research.  Not to mention that the house is falling apart, and I just don't seem to have the energy to do more than the slightest bit of work.  There's also a lot of yard work that needs to be done before the yard is ready for winter.  And there's Christmas shopping, and graduation announcements and Christmas cards to ship out.  I just feel like I've checked out of life, since every moment I spend not working on things feels stolen.  Sorry to be a downer, I just can't wait until next month.  Every semester this happens, I always feel like I can't make it to the end.  I just wish I responded better to stress than becoming depressed.  

On a far better note, this week my spirits have been lifted, because Barack Obama is going to be our president!  I can't even express how happy I am, every time I think about it I get a smile on my face.  Seeing him speak with my favorite city in the background was just so unbelievably cool, I was dancing around the house.  But, even though I called my grandma to gloat haha, I feel like there really aren't any losers in this.  It's the start of a new day for our country, and for the first time in my life, I'm truly proud to say I'm American.  After 8 years of being told that I wasn't part of America because I don't share the values of a certain group of people, I'm overjoyed at the thought that this signals a more inclusive America.  An American is not one single thing, and that is what makes us so beautiful.  

But, my enthusiasm has been somewhat dimmed by the passage of Prop 8 and the other gay marriage amendments.  I have an incredibly strong belief that everyone has basic rights, and marriage is one of them.  To put a law into place telling two people that their love is somehow not valid and doesn't count is disgusting and inexcusable.  I can't imagine being told that suddenly Jason and I weren't married because a group of people we don't know spent large amounts of time and money to make it so.  I can only hope that someday that time and money will go to people who truly need it, to make a positive impact on the world.  

Sorry again haha, just some things that have been on my mind lately.  I started my Christmas shopping today.  I got Werther and Mortimer some things, including wooden toys that look like chocolates.  So cute.  I also got Jason's Christmas and birthday gifts.  It's still a long way until I'm done.  I love shopping for other people, but we have to be pretty frugal this year, so hopefully I'll still be able to find some fun stuff.  But, I have to confess that I've already found a gift to reward myself haha.  Those ornaments are from Anthropologie, and they're mercury glass.  Last year Martha Stewart had an article in her magazine about vintage Victorian mercury glass ornaments.  I'm so in love with them, but they're not easy to find and they can be really expensive, so I'm really glad that these are affordable.  There, I think that makes things a little less depressing haha.

I have so far refrained from letting my often very strong feelings about politics spill onto my blog.  But, since tomorrow is the big day, I have to say, this is the third election I've voted in, and I have never been this excited.  I can't concentrate on anything, I'm just so ready to get my vote in!  I also realized the other day that I have never voted in the same state twice- Washington in '00, Texas in '04, and now New York.  Just a random fact, haha.  I just feel like we're in the midst of making history, and that this is the first exciting thing to happen to our country in a very long time.  I have a new found pride in my country, and hope it will continue.  At the very least it will continue through tomorrow, when I vote for Barack Obama, the first presidential candidate I've ever been excited about.  I just want to know what the outcome will be!  I'm trying to keep things positive, but as a woman, and one who has felt the importance of voting since my 6th grade presentation on Susan B. Anthony, I can't imagine what will happen to women's rights if Palin comes out on top.  Anti-intellectualism is never the answer, and hopefully that chapter of our history will close tomorrow.  Obama '08!  Everybody vote!