I really should be cleaning, but I have the worst sinus headache. I went to take some ibuprofen, but remembered we were out. Then I found a full bottle, and just as I was about to do a happy dance, discovered it was expired. I really don't want to take Laela out because she's napping and it's really cold, so I guess I'll just lay around for a while. I'm getting the house ready (or trying to get the house ready) for Dad and Megan's visit on Sunday! I'm so excited, it will be fun to spend Christmas with them. And, lets be honest, it will be nice to have some other people to help with Laela. She's been sleeping fairly well. We started putting her in her crib on Friday. It seems to be going well, except she learned to turn on her stomach and she keeps getting stuck, which makes us nervous. I'm so glad we have the video monitor, so we don't have to peak in on her all the time. She's been sleeping for one long stretch for the most part, and then getting up every 2-3 hours after that. Saturday night she slept for 7 hours straight, but usually it's more like 4-5. And that's been great, I don't have a problem with getting up with her a couple of times a night, but 5 or 6 was a bit much. I started a bedtime routine for her- I've been feeding her some cereal, giving her a bath with bedtime bath bubble bath, then giving her a little massage and putting her pajamas on. Then I nurse her and read Goodnight Moon and The Night Before Christmas before putting her in her crib. Sometimes she fusses for a couple of minutes, but in general she falls right to sleep. I started out putting her down between 9-10, but she's been getting tired earlier, so now it's more like 8-8:30. I'm so relieved that she's been making her sleep preferences known, since I want her sleep schedule to be something created around her natural patterns, and not forced on her. She's still kind of unpredictable during the day, but she generally takes 2 1-2 hour naps. Wow, that was a lot of talk about Laela sleeping, sorry. I've finally started doing a bit of Christmas shopping, and I'm looking forward to all of the packages that should be arriving soon, even the ones that aren't for me. I love getting mail! I'm also ready for Megan to get here so we can do some baking. I think we're going to try homemade marshmallows. I have no idea how they'll turn out, but they're supposed to be amazing, so I figured we should give it a try. What's the worst that could happen?

It always amazes me how quickly my mood and perceptions can change. Last week I was reminiscing about last Thanksgiving. I found out I was pregnant the day before, and the whole holiday season was just so hard for me. I struggled with being too sick and tired to enjoy anything. In addition, I was adjusting to not being able to do a lot of fun things, and the constant feeling that if I made the wrong decision I would hurt the baby and it would be all my fault. Not exactly good times. But, this year I was feeling a lot more festive, and very excited for Laela's first Christmas. We put up the lights outside, and the tree. I was also thrilled to discover that last year we ended up with a new, nicer tree and a stocking for Laela, thanks to Cheryl. That's a testament to how out of it I was last year, I had no idea we had a new tree until I found the box in the basement haha. But, the last few days have been really hard. Laela, after the first few weeks, was a great sleeper. She generally only woke up once a night, which didn't bother me at all. Now, she's wildly unpredictable and rarely sleeps for more than 3 hours at a time. Over the weekend I was staying up late to spend time with Jason. I went to bed at 2, and from then until 7:30, she woke up 5 times. I have no idea what the reason is, or if there even is a reason. There's just so many variables. So I'm so tired that I pretty much just want to sit on the couch and stare into space. Working out has gone out the window, and I've been showering in the evenings. I just don't have the energy to find joy in anything. Add to that the fact that Harlock jumps down, opens the bedroom door with her nose, and stares at us every time I shut it so Laela can have some quiet, and my patience is wearing thin. I've been trying very hard to be positive, which is something that doesn't come to me easily at all. I always read about studies that say that women who are anxious or depressed during pregnancy often pass that on to their children, so I feel like I must make up for her poor start in life by being as happy as possible. But I've run out of that ability. I just feel like I second-guess every parenting decision I make. I don't believe that having a rigid parenting philosophy is good for children, but winging it just isn't in my nature. I need to feel like we have some sort of plan. I worry about when to start her on solids, when to put her in her crib, and everything else possible. Jason said that at this age, as long as she is happy and developing well, we should just go with what she wants. And I completely agree for the most part, but something has got to give with the sleeping problem. I don't know, maybe tomorrow will be a better day, and she goes to the pediatrician next week, so I figured I will throw myself at his feet and hope he has some answers. Maybe not, but some suggestions from a professional might be helpful haha. I'm assuming he'll tell me to start her on cereal, so maybe that messy new adventure will distract us from everything else.

A pretty exciting thing has happened around here- Jason's car is finally up and running again! After replacing the wheels, tires and battery, Jason is finally able to take himself to work again. It couldn't have come at a better time, since Laela's sleep habits have been much less predictable than they were previously, and I've been running on less sleep than I need. So it's nice to be able to sleep until she wakes up, instead of waking to take Jason. She did well last night, and she slept all night on Saturday, but in general she's been kind of all over the place. So, we've been spending the first half of the night in our room and the second in the living room. But, in an effort to remain positive, I keep telling myself that at least she doesn't cry at night. In fact, she's been waking early in the morning squealing happily, ready to party. Several times I've fallen asleep while she remains awake, sucking on her hands. I'm assuming her little body is just going through some changes. But, to be honest, I don't always react well to fatigue, so sometimes it takes a lot to remain patient. Hopefully it won't last much longer. Currently, she's trying pretty hard to roll over, but she just manages to scoot around in a circle by throwing herself from side to side. We had a nice weekend, Joeli flew in from Chicago to meet Laela. We had a great time. We ate at the Lost Dog Cafe on Friday while Jason watched Laela. On Sunday we got coffee and went to the mall, also baby- free. And Monday we took Laela to Apple Hills for lunch and then took her and the dog to the park. I love baby time, but I never turn down an opportunity to get away for a while. I really need to get away to the gym, since I didn't go last week and I haven't gone yet this week. But, thanks to my 90 crunches a day, my jeans are fitting much better anyway. I went through a period a few weeks ago where I felt so bad about myself that I broke out some of my smaller maternity clothes. But, as I learned when I used to watch What Not to Wear all the time, bigger clothes just make you look bigger, so I stopped that haha. I'm feeling a lot better now. In general, life is going pretty well, except for adjusting to the early darkness. There are so many things I enjoy about winter, but that is not one of them. But, at least I have the holidays to look forward to.

I should really be cleaning the kitchen, but instead I'm on here. I do a fairly good job of keeping up on the house in general, but I just completely fail at kitchen maintenance. If only we had a dishwasher, I know it would be different. Or not haha. I feel like I've been somewhat into the Halloween spirit, but not completely. Jason and I have watched several Halloween-esque movies. We watched Paranormal Activities even though I really didn't want to. My former love of horror movies has evolved into a complete inability to watch them without freaking out. I barely slept the night we watched it, even though I didn't think it was a great movie. We also watched Mad Monster Party, a completely bizarre stop-motion film from the '60's. But my favorite so far has been The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. I think that was one of the best silent films I've ever seen. Our tradition is to watch The Great Pumpkin followed by all of the Simpson's Tree House of Horrors. I'm really looking forward to that. We decided we didn't feel like carving pumpkins, but I did put some decorations out. My main goal lately has been winterizing the yard. I go out for 10-15 minutes every day to do a little work. Yesterday I brought Laela and Harlock out. By the end Laela was crying and Harlock was barking to go inside, not the most productive environment. I think I might bust out my sequined Minnie Mouse headband that I got at Disney last year to hand out candy. I never dress up, because we usually don't go out. I wanted Laela to be Snow White, because she totally looks like her. But, the costume was $25, and I just didn't see the point when she won't remember it and we aren't leaving the house. So, she's going to wear her glow in the dark skeleton pj's, and maybe next year she can be Snow White. She has so many Halloween clothes that from tomorrow on, she will be wearing them all so we can get one more wear out of them. I know this is a bit early, but I've been really getting into the Christmas spirit lately. Last year we had a lovely time in Cape Cod, but honestly I was so sick and out of it that I couldn't really get into the holiday. I think I actually only picked out and purchased two gifts, the rest we just went in on with others. So I'm glad that this year I'll be feeling better. But, due to budgetary concerns, we're probably only going to be able to get gifts for those who will actually be spending the holidays with us, my dad and Megan. I have loved the years where I could go all out on Christmas gifts, but this is not one of those years. But, I'm already developing a list for Laela. I swear, I get so into her toys that I have a hard time restraining myself, they're all so cute haha. The Wist list on my page is where I'm keeping track of the stuff I find. Although I'm definitely into all things "girly" myself, it's very important to me to not force Laela into liking only girl-oriented toys. So, to that end, I found the perfect gift for my dad to get her- a Fisher-Price workbench. It's adorable, and I think it will provide the perfect compliment to the tea set we're getting her. After all, a girl needs to explore her options. I'm also super bummed that the "Wilco Loves Your Baby" onesie is sold out in her size. I hope they get it back in before Christmas. Jason, on the other hand, totally hates Wilco and is hoping I forget all about it haha. But, I feel like she needs some band shirts that aren't the Beatles for once. As for me, all I really want for Christmas is a new ipod. The battery on mine died after 5 years, and I want one that will hold enough music that I won't have to buy another one for a long time. I think 160 GB will do nicely.

I'm currently getting ready to go have lunch with Jason. I believe this is only the second time I've done that, since he only gets a half hour for lunch. We'll probably go through the Wendy's drive-thru and eat it in the car. Good times haha. I feel like my last post was a little bit of a bummer, and apparently it surprised some people who didn't know what was going on. I'm still working through my feelings about everything, and I still have bad days occasionally, but things are still going really well. I feel almost like I have to mourn for the experience that I didn't have. One thing I can never remember is that no matter how universal an experience is, it's always colored by the person experiencing it. What I mean is, I bought into the vision of pregnancy that society at large has as being a beautiful, happy time where all bad things are brushed aside because "it is worth it". But, I've never reacted well to change. Like when we moved to Binghamton I barely got out of bed for the first couple of months. Of course having Laela was worth it, but that doesn't mean that the bad things go away. So I felt like it was twice as depressing- once for the actual feelings of anger, detachment and isolation I was feeling, and once for the difference between what I imagined would happen and what actually happened. At least I have Jason around to anticipate these things. When I told him how I was feeling about Laela once things improved, he told me that he figured I would feel neutral towards her for at least 6 months, so things were going better than expected. Unfortunately, I can only be me, no matter the situation, so I guess I'm screwed haha. Anyway, Laela is doing pretty well, but she is going through a bit of a fussy phase. She has started trying to stay awake when she needs to sleep, which makes her cranky. She also had her reflux medicine adjusted due to her increased weight. She still sleeps through the night, but she stays up crying much later than she should. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but the other night she didn't go to bed until 1am. I'm playing the whole putting her on a schedule thing by ear. If this continues I'll consider it. If not, I'm going to wait for a natural schedule to emerge. I just never want to be the kind of parent who's so rigid, they never vary from a schedule. But on the bright side, Laela and I have moved into our bedroom 7 days a week. Up until last week, we were sleeping in the living room during the week so Jason could get sleep, and then moving into the bedroom on the weekends. Other than the occasional fussiness, she's very charming. She thinks Jason is hilarious. At this point, she rarely smiles at other people, which is very flattering haha. If I look at her and don't smile, she cries until I smile, and then she stops and smiles back. It's kind of crazy to have that much control over someone's emotions. We got her a Jumperoo, which she's in love with. More than anything, Laela likes to sit or stand up. She would sleep sitting up if she could. Her head control is really good for a baby her age. She brings a lot of giggles and extremely high-pitched squeals to our lives, and we really enjoy having her around.

Since Laela's napping I thought I would post on here. Things have been pretty uneventful lately. I think the most exciting thing that's happened is Jason and I got our flu shots last night. Yay. Laela goes for her 2 month checkup next Monday. I'm curious to see how much she's grown. She wears 3 month clothes now for the most part, but, because each brand varies so much, she still fits in most of her 0-3 months and even some newborn stuff. She's starting to interact with us more, which is great! I'm finding motherhood to be a much easier transition than I could have ever thought possible. There were some concerns about postpartum depression when I was pregnant because I was extremely depressed for most of my pregnancy. But, after the first few weeks, I'm feeling great. It probably doesn't hurt that Laela's a great sleeper, and I haven't felt any more tired than I usually do since she was a few weeks old. But I have to say I was surprised by my initial reactions to her. Jason always said he didn't like babies because they can't communicate, and I thought that was silly. But, once she was born, we seemed to swap those feelings. I felt a strong sense of responsibility for her, but I felt very neutral about her in every other way. I just felt like I couldn't relate to her at all, like she was a stranger. I guess that makes sense, since she hadn't been around long, but it still bummed me out. I could look at her objectively and know that she was cute, and a very pleasant baby to be around. But, when I watched our friends and family oohing and aahing over her every expression and sound, I just couldn't get into it. I felt strange kissing her and telling her I loved her, so I rarely did. I felt very sorry for Laela for being unlucky enough to end up with a mother like me, it was pretty discouraging. But, eventually she started smiling at me, and I felt for the first time that she was a little person. Now it feels like we have a more reciprocal relationship, and things are going so well! She's starting to develop likes and dislikes, and I'm able to share things I like with her, like the park and music. It reminds me of when my brother was little and I wanted to share everything that was important to me with him. I can't wait to do the same for Laela. I find myself thinking excitedly about the future and all the things we'll share, and what kind of person she'll become. Right now she loves her Lamaze toys, her tummy time mirror, and her swing. She also likes staring at the TV when Jason plays Blazblue haha. Anything with lights and colors gets her attention. She also, oddly enough, loves to stare at the vintage botanical print that's hanging above our bed. It always makes her smile. As far as music, Laela is a big fan of all of the obnoxious nursery rhymes that blare from her toys haha. But, she also really likes Panda Bear, Grizzly Bear, and The Beatles. And, just to show that her taste isn't THAT great, she loves it when I sing along haha. When she isn't having a fussy day, she smiles constantly. And though she hasn't laughed yet when she's awake, for some reason she often laughs when she's sleeping. It's like she's unconsciously practicing for her future giggling.
But, aside from caring for Laela, I've been keeping busy in other ways. I've been doing a surprisingly good job keeping up with the housework. Jason is having some tire trouble with his car, so twice a day I shuttle him back and forth to work until he can pick out the tires he wants. I've also been progressing fairly well in the "losing the baby weight" department. I was discouraged to discover that I still had 14 of the 40lbs. I gained left to lose when I went to my 6 week checkup. But, although I don't own a scale, I still seem to be making progress. I've been trying to get to the gym 1-2 times a week, take the dog to the park, and do yoga. I'm happy to report that I'm currently in the size 2 jeans that I was wearing towards the end of my first trimester. I don't really care about the number on the scale, nor do I care so much about the size. I just really want to get back into as many of my old clothes as possible because I love them, and I really don't want to have to start my wardrobe all over. I've had good luck with my shirts, except the ones that don't work with nursing. Those will just have to wait until next year!

Well, so much has happened since my last post, it's hard to know where to begin. Laela was born on July 13. I went in to be induced, and they discovered I was already in labor, so they just had to break my water. I went from 7:30 am to about 11:30 with no drugs, but then I tried a narcotic to help me sleep. It started to help, so Jason left to get something to eat, and I was alone. That was when it stopped working, and the contractions started to get really bad. I have to say, everyone told me that laying down is the worst possible feeling when in labor, and that I would want to walk around. Since I had problems with my heart rate during the pregnancy, the doctor wanted me on the monitors all the time. None of the mobile monitors was available, so I was in bed the whole time. I started to panic at around noon, and realized that either I was going to die, or I was going to get an epidural. I went in not having any expectations about whether I would use pain medication or not, and I think that worked well. I made it to 5 centimeters, which, considering my low pain tolerance, was more than I could have hoped for. While we were waiting for the epidural, I had to go to the bathroom. I have to say that being on my feet was the WORST feeling I've ever experienced, and I couldn't wait to get back into bed. The anesthesiologist did a great job on the epidural, and I could still feel my legs the whole time, but none of the pain. I have to say that that was probably the greatest feeling I've ever experienced, it was so cool and relaxing, and I felt like myself again. After about 40 minutes of pushing, Laela was born at 8:28 that night. We both developed fevers during the labor, and her heart rate started to go up at the end, but luckily she was fine. Honestly the labor couldn't have gone any better, but I can't imagine having a baby naturally. Seriously, I can't imagine going another 8 hours with it getting worse and worse, it boggles my mind haha.

Today was our final day of having company, after six weeks. Having people here to help was a life saver, but I'm glad it's just the three of us now (or seven of us, including furry family members). All in all, our first month of parenthood has been a lot easier than I thought. She sleeps fairly well, though she does eat a lot (she's kind of a fatty haha). She has acid reflux, so she's on medication, which helps somewhat, but she still spits up a lot. Now that she's awake more during the day, she has become a bit more fussy, but she's also interacting more too. Our next step is to become more confident with taking her places. I'm going to follow the lead of many parents (and bloggers) before me and take a picture of her every month to see how she changes. I'm not sure how long I'm going to do it just yet, but I figure it will be at least a year. I'm going to put her with the stuffed rabbit Jason got her for size comparison. Above is her first month's picture.

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm having a sale in my Etsy shop. Now through June 25th, everything is 30% off! I'm just hoping I can get some of the items sold so I can start somewhat fresh once my "maternity leave" is over. Other than that, I haven't been doing too much, just trying to get the hospital bags packed, finish the nursery, and buy some last minute baby items. We got her a swing last weekend, and I love it, it does so many neat things, and it doesn't look too "kiddy", so it's not too bad in the living room. Jason thinks it looks like a Wii haha. We also finally got Sophie the Giraffe in the mail! I don't know why, but I love this freaking toy. She's so adorable and vintage looking! I'm working on getting the rest of the framed and unframed pictures hung on the nursery walls, so I can finally clean up all of the construction/craft materials all over the floor. Then we just have the two doors to paint, and it will finally be done! I'm going to the OB every week now, and I have to have extra testing because my hyperthyroidism puts me at increased risk for preeclampsia. I had an ultrasound and non stress test last week. Everything looked good, Laela weighs 5lb 10oz. While I am too lazy to actually go out and scan the picture into the computer, I did take an OK picture of one of the ultrasound pictures. She wasn't in the best position for pictures, but we got a couple of decent 3d ones. I think she looks like she belongs to us, Jason thinks she looks like a constellation haha, but either way, she looks more like a baby than she did in the last ones.

Wow, I'm doing a really poor job of keeping the old blog up. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant. In the last week or so I've become extremely limited as far as doing much of anything. I have a hard time catching my breath, and can't ever seem to get comfortable, even with a million pillows. I was exercising almost every day, but I've had to slow that down. Last week I saw a cardiologist for the first time. I had a particularly embarrassing episode at the endocrinologist that triggered it. Since the beginning, I've been feeling lightheaded a lot, but they said it was normal. I had a particularly bad episode at his office, and he insisted that I get it checked out. I have a feeling at least part of it is due to panic attacks, but we have to be sure. They gave me a monitor to wear for the next couple of weeks, to record all of the "incidents". I'm supposed to wear it all the time except in the shower. The problem with that is that the pads have given me a horrible rash, so I'm wearing it a little less than all the time. But, hopefully they'll find nothing wrong so I can go back to having one specialist. In addition, my right hip hurts pretty much all the time. I'm hoping that a coupon for a massage will drop out of the sky at some point haha. I've also been having some pain when she moves around, and sometimes when I walk, so the nurse at my OB's office told me to rest over the weekend. At first I was bummed out, because I was hoping we could trim our unruly bushes and plant some flowers in the front yard, but it turned out that the weather didn't cooperate anyway. I've been doing a fairly good job of keeping up with the housework, with a few notable exceptions. There are some organizational projects that we didn't get to last month that I need to finish up. And, the biggest exception is the kitchen. I swear, I just suck at dishes. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to motivate myself to keep up with them. But, even that problem is improving, slowly but surely. The nursery is coming along nicely, we just have to hang stuff on the walls, pick up the mattress, and repaint the doors. I'll put some pictures up when it's closer to done. I went with Pink Sea Salt on the walls, which is a white color with just a hint of pink, and Sharkey Grey on the trim. In the living room, I picked a light yellow called Macadamia. We still have to paint some of the trim in the living room and finish 4 doors, but it looks so much better all ready. That leaves us with only two rooms to go downstairs, the kitchen and our bedroom. Our bedroom shouldn't require too much work, but the kitchen is certainly a different story. It will be a while before we tackle that. Other than that, there isn't a lot going on. I took Harlock to the vet today to get her Lyme booster shot. They said she's very healthy, but the shot has left her so sore, she's having trouble getting around. She's acting a lot like me haha. But, that's supposed to pass. We started our childbirth classes last week. Jason was predictably enthusiastic haha, but I found some of the information to be encouraging, mainly about hospital policies, like encouraging position changes/ walking around. We have 3 more 2 and a half hour classes to go. Next month I'm taking a breastfeeding class. I'm nervous because I really want to breastfeed, but I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to get the hang of it. Things are starting to move pretty fast, we're supposed to pre-register at the hospital, pick a pediatrician, and pack our hospital bags as soon as possible. It's all pretty overwhelming, but I'm sure we'll get it all taken care of.

Well, we had our ultrasound on Tuesday, and it's a girl! Her name will be Laela Grace. She currently weighs about 12 ounces, and apparently I'm further along then we thought, so now my due date is July 20th. Not that that matters too much, since babies rarely come on their due dates. To celebrate I went out and bought her some clothes at Target. I only got a couple of things, although I found many more. I passed those on to my mom and sister haha. I got this dress, onesie, and a pair of ivory leg warmers.





The onesie is from Dwell Studios, and I swear, they have the cutest clothes EVER! Unfortunately, they don't have a picture of my favorite outfit online. My mom picked it up, and it's so cute, it's a yellow bubble tunic with pink and white flowers on it with matching yellow and white polka dot leggings. I love bubble hem clothes, they're so cute! The purple dress has a bubble hem, and I've even found some bubble onesies and rompers! I love little girl stuff so much!

Unfortunately, since I was somewhat out of the loop with what's happening at Lowe's haha, I didn't realize that Martha Stewart took her paint over to Home Depot. So, I guess that means that the paint colors in the nursery and living room may be slightly different than originally planned. But, I'm hopeful that we'll find some that are close. I ordered the dresser for the nursery a couple of days ago. We're going to use it as a changing table too. I wanted to find pieces that could be used as she grows, so we also picked out a convertible crib. We have the bedding and the sheets too. We got the sheets from gap.com, and we had the option of brown, sage and blue stripe or brown, sage and pink stripe. Jason didn't like the blue so we went with the pink, which is kind of a coincidence haha. We're going for a unisex nursery regardless, because I hate the pink for girls, blue for boys thing, but it looks like there's really going to be a lot of green and brown. I also ordered a carrier. I really hope she likes it, because I hear they come in handy when they don't want to be put down, and when we don't want to lug the stroller around.



On the less positive front, I "failed" my blood test haha. Apparently my thyroid is suppressed, which is normal in early in pregnancy, but should have corrected itself by now. My dr. is baffled though, because I exhibit none of the symptoms of someone with that problem. So, once again, I will spend part of my Saturday at the lab. If I "fail" again, it's off to the endocrinologist I go. Hooray.

I guess it's time for an update on the old blog. There really isn't much going on around here. My babysitting job ended last week, so I'm now looking into some work from home kind of stuff that I can do to earn some extra money. We had a very big snowstorm on Thursday night, and got about 17 inches of snow. Friday morning was a frantic, 2 hour long scramble to dig ourselves out enough so I could drive Jason to work. It was exhausting. We go to the doctor on Tuesday to have an ultrasound, and hopefully we'll find out whether we're having a boy or a girl! That's definitely something I've been looking forward to more than anything. I've been feeling better in some respects physically, and somewhat better mentally and emotionally. I still can't honestly say that I like being pregnant though, although I don't hate it like I did in the beginning. But, I've been having nagging pain in my right hip/lower back that sometimes makes walking painful. And, I'm a bit nervous that I'm already having some trouble getting around and catching my breath. I have to believe that this doesn't spell good things for me, since I'm not even halfway there yet. I've also been lucky enough to have to get extra blood-work done, since there was a bit of concern over one of my original tests. The guy who drew my blood was totally unsympathetic and actually a bit of a jerk. He also decided to try to take blood from my forearm, so I ended up with a bruise covering most of my arm. That's exactly what I needed to calm my fears. I hope the re-test came out alright, so I'll at least have a couple of months off before the dreaded glucose test. But, my assumption is that I won't be that lucky. It would explain why I'm still so tired even though everyone has tried to convince me that now is when I'm supposed to be feeling wonderful. I slept most of this weekend, and I find that any time I sit down for more than a few minutes I nod off. But, the one thing that is pretty good about the experience is feeling the baby kick. At first, I have to admit it weirded me out more than anything, but now I find it comforting. And, I'm finally making some progress in planning and purchasing for the nursery, which has provided a nice distraction from all of the other stuff. I have realized while re-reading what I've written so far that this is not the most cheerful blog entry I've ever written haha. I think it may have a lot to do with cabin fever. I always feel at this time of year that spring should be here, but it's always about a month late. I can't wait until I'll be able to take Harlock to the park more frequently, and do fun things like plant flowers. I also think this month is going to help my mood a lot, since we'll finally be working on some house projects. I think winter is a perfect time for me to work on the house, and since I couldn't this winter, I feel like I'm cooped up in a totally uninspiring space. But, if we can get the nursery well on its way, and, best of all, finish the living room finally (!!), I think I'll feel a lot less "blah" about it. We also have plans to finish some other smaller projects that have already been started, and do some re-organizing. I can't wait! After having spent the last few months in hibernation, in more ways than one, I think it's finally time to start moving forward.

Wow, it's certainly been a long time since I've checked in here. Many things have happened since my last post. We're expecting a baby at the end of July! That in itself has prevented me from doing many of the the things I usually do, since I haven't been feeling quite myself lately, physically or mentally. I'm feeling somewhat better in general, but I certainly can't say that I'm a happy pregnant lady, or that I understand those who enjoy this experience, but maybe I'll get there haha. We also spent 6 weeks without a computer when ours broke. We replaced it with a Macbook Pro, and it's wonderful, the greatest piece of technology I've ever owned, and I don't even have the slightest clue about its full potential. We went with the Pro so Jason could use it for recording music eventually, but until then it's just an over-powered internet browser haha. We spent Thanksgiving at home with my family, though I can't say I took too much part in it because I just wasn't feeling up to it. Christmas was spent in Mass. with Jason's family, which was a lot of fun. But, I guess in part because the hormones caused me to feel very apathetic about everything in the beginning, I really wasn't as into the whole Christmas season like I normally am. But hopefully that will change next year. On the house front, all of our projects have come to a halt, mainly because I can't do a lot of the stuff I was working on. But, that has freed up time for me to start work on the nursery, at least in the abstract. I've been looking at a lot of stuff online, and I'm trying to keep track of the things I like. We'll be painting it in the spring, after the walls and ceiling have been repaired. I'm very excited about designing a room from the ground up, but also a little nervous. It's also a pretty tiny room, so space is definitely an issue. But, it's provided a welcome distraction from the way I've been feeling. I've also added a Wist on my blog, so I can keep track of cute things I've been finding all over. I'm sure the list will grow even more once we find out whether it's a boy or girl. On the music front, I've been listening to the new Beach House album a lot. It's wonderful.