Since Laela's napping I thought I would post on here. Things have been pretty uneventful lately. I think the most exciting thing that's happened is Jason and I got our flu shots last night. Yay. Laela goes for her 2 month checkup next Monday. I'm curious to see how much she's grown. She wears 3 month clothes now for the most part, but, because each brand varies so much, she still fits in most of her 0-3 months and even some newborn stuff. She's starting to interact with us more, which is great! I'm finding motherhood to be a much easier transition than I could have ever thought possible. There were some concerns about postpartum depression when I was pregnant because I was extremely depressed for most of my pregnancy. But, after the first few weeks, I'm feeling great. It probably doesn't hurt that Laela's a great sleeper, and I haven't felt any more tired than I usually do since she was a few weeks old. But I have to say I was surprised by my initial reactions to her. Jason always said he didn't like babies because they can't communicate, and I thought that was silly. But, once she was born, we seemed to swap those feelings. I felt a strong sense of responsibility for her, but I felt very neutral about her in every other way. I just felt like I couldn't relate to her at all, like she was a stranger. I guess that makes sense, since she hadn't been around long, but it still bummed me out. I could look at her objectively and know that she was cute, and a very pleasant baby to be around. But, when I watched our friends and family oohing and aahing over her every expression and sound, I just couldn't get into it. I felt strange kissing her and telling her I loved her, so I rarely did. I felt very sorry for Laela for being unlucky enough to end up with a mother like me, it was pretty discouraging. But, eventually she started smiling at me, and I felt for the first time that she was a little person. Now it feels like we have a more reciprocal relationship, and things are going so well! She's starting to develop likes and dislikes, and I'm able to share things I like with her, like the park and music. It reminds me of when my brother was little and I wanted to share everything that was important to me with him. I can't wait to do the same for Laela. I find myself thinking excitedly about the future and all the things we'll share, and what kind of person she'll become. Right now she loves her Lamaze toys, her tummy time mirror, and her swing. She also likes staring at the TV when Jason plays Blazblue haha. Anything with lights and colors gets her attention. She also, oddly enough, loves to stare at the vintage botanical print that's hanging above our bed. It always makes her smile. As far as music, Laela is a big fan of all of the obnoxious nursery rhymes that blare from her toys haha. But, she also really likes Panda Bear, Grizzly Bear, and The Beatles. And, just to show that her taste isn't THAT great, she loves it when I sing along haha. When she isn't having a fussy day, she smiles constantly. And though she hasn't laughed yet when she's awake, for some reason she often laughs when she's sleeping. It's like she's unconsciously practicing for her future giggling.
But, aside from caring for Laela, I've been keeping busy in other ways. I've been doing a surprisingly good job keeping up with the housework. Jason is having some tire trouble with his car, so twice a day I shuttle him back and forth to work until he can pick out the tires he wants. I've also been progressing fairly well in the "losing the baby weight" department. I was discouraged to discover that I still had 14 of the 40lbs. I gained left to lose when I went to my 6 week checkup. But, although I don't own a scale, I still seem to be making progress. I've been trying to get to the gym 1-2 times a week, take the dog to the park, and do yoga. I'm happy to report that I'm currently in the size 2 jeans that I was wearing towards the end of my first trimester. I don't really care about the number on the scale, nor do I care so much about the size. I just really want to get back into as many of my old clothes as possible because I love them, and I really don't want to have to start my wardrobe all over. I've had good luck with my shirts, except the ones that don't work with nursing. Those will just have to wait until next year!