I haven't been posting much because I've been feeling pretty "blah" lately. I've been dealing once again with my anxious and over-active mind. In general, I really love the direction my life has gone in, but I get frustrated sometimes and think too much. I feel like we're on the edge of another set of big changes in our lives (potentially), and I want all of the decisions we make to be the right ones. Like, when to expand our family. This feeds into another issue, which is insuring that we can pay for the little one. So, to that end, I've been seriously considering opening an Etsy shop. For the time being it will just be vintage, but hopefully I'll eventually add some hand-made items. I figured that that would be a perfect way for me to be a stay at home mom, but still contribute to our finances. But, the problem is that I have always had a crippling lack of self-confidence, and it's pretty scary to be out there doing this on my own, instead of working for a larger company. Although, if it works out, I think it will cater perfectly to my desire for flexibility, and my more anti-social tendencies haha. I just think I've been trying too hard to control every aspect of our lives and future, which is never possible to do. I can't predict the future, and things will work out the way they will work out. I've always been the opposite with my decision making, like my moving from college to college just for the hell of it, or because it was more convenient. And, Jason and I both have made a point to never make the easy decision, and to take risks. It's always nerve-wracking, but so far it has worked out for us quite well. I'm not a spiritual person by any means, and I don't believe that there is any sort of master plan to my life. But that's what I think is one of the most exciting parts of life. I love the feeling that with each decision, big or small, that Jason and I make, we are adding another chapter to our little life adventure. The problem comes in when I have too much time on my hands and the doubts and worries start to creep in. I guess I just need to learn how to relax, because it wouldn't be an adventure if we were always sure that we were doing everything right. And what fun would that be?

Sorry if that sounds ridiculous, but I feel like I'm hopefully starting to sort through some of the weirdness in my head. On a more positive note, my 15 year old brother, Cory, will be arriving on Wednesday from Illinois to spend a week with us. I'm excited, it'll be nice to have someone along for my daily activities! In anticipation of his arrival, I've been making him a few mix CDs. I know most people stopped making them in high school haha, but it remains one of my favorite things to do. It's even more fun with Cory because he has so, so much to learn about great music, and he's a willing audience haha. I've made him 4 compilations by decade, from the 60's through the 90's. It is so hard to whittle down an entire decade into a few songs, but it's been fun because I've rediscovered a lot of bands and songs I had long forgotten about. Perhaps I will peruse Youtube tonight for some fun videos from some of them to post on here!